Towards International Women's Day

 I never really thought about gender until I got involved with JOC. 

However, I think it is important to consciously think about the things that have become ingrained and taken for granted in our culture, education, daily life, and work without being aware of it.

 In Japan, it is compulsory for married couples to use the same surname.

When you get married, you have to take either your own or your partner's surname.

 Before I got involved with the JOC, I had a certain longing to take the surname of the person I love. The idea of getting married and having different names never occurred to me. However, through the frequent sharing of gender issues at the JOC, I gradually began to change my mind. I began to wonder why it was so common for women to take the man's surname when they get married. There is a tendency in the world to think that this is the norm, but the opposite is not chosen unless there is something wrong with it.

I got married around the time I started thinking about this. I naturally chose to take my partner's last name. As it turned out, taking my partner's surname was not that hard for me to do. My partner's parents live separately, so I didn't feel like I was "joining the family" or "marrying into my partner's family," but by taking my partner's surname, I felt that there was still a form of "house-to-house marriage," even though it was between us. My partner's parents are warm and kind people. They are warm and kind people, and so far I don't feel that they are telling me, "You married into this family, so this is how you should be.

 On the other hand, I felt that changing my family name made a lot of procedures very complicated and troublesome.

 If you change your family name, you have to change your name on your passport, driver's license, credit cards, and almost everything else you have a contract with.

You have to go to the city office to pick up the documents and then take them to various places to go through the process. In addition, it costs money to change your passport's name. The cost is 6,000 yen. That's about 6,000 yen, which is about the same as my salary for working six hours.

 It's not just a matter of money. I use my old family name for my performances and JOC activities, and having two family names confuses people around me, as well as myself.

Both names are my own, but I am often confused as to which one I should use for a moment.

 My parents divorced when my younger brother and I were in elementary school.

When you get divorced, you have to choose whether you want to keep the same family name or your original family name.

Our mother had custody of us, so if she changed her last name, we would change ours.

However, my mother continued to use my father's name until her death. She did this for the sake of us children.

 In school, changing one's family name can be very stressful for children.

In addition to the stress of having divorced parents, the change of family name can cause even more stress to the children.

 I look back on my past and think about the various effects and problems that a change of family name can have on me through this kind of gender sharing.

 For decades, there has been a debate about the introduction of the "Selective Family Name System," which would allow couples to freely choose to use their own or their partner's family name when they get married. Opponents argue that it will break family ties and have a negative impact on children, and that if families take different surnames, the traditional Japanese family will die. However, I wonder why this is the case since it does not mean that people will not be able to continue to use the same surname as before just by having more options.

 Also, in Japan, there have always been several ways to refer to one's partner.

In Japan, there have always been several ways to refer to one's partner, such as "wife" and "husband. However, when you want to talk about your partner or spouse, you don't call them "your wife" or "your husband". In general, men say "your husband". For women, there is "ma'am," etc.

In Japanese, it may seem like an honorific, but the original meaning of the word "shujin" is "the person you serve or the head of the household. In English, it is equivalent to "master.

The meaning of the word "ma'am"[okusan] is a person who stays at the back of the house and does not come out. The word "wife" means a person who stays in the back and does not come out.

 In addition to "master" and "wife," there are other words for partners and spouses.

In addition to "master" and "wife", there are other words for partners and spouses, such as "husband"[danna], "husband"[teishu] (male), "wife"[okusan], "daughter-in-law"[yome], and "wife"[kannai].

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(Reference)

The word "husband"[danna](man) originally comes from a Buddhist term meaning "to give" or "to offer," and over time it came to be commonly used to mean patron, and from there it changed to mean "employer/customer" or "husband.

The word "teishu" (man) means the owner of the house or inn.

Yome (woman): This word is made up of the kanji for woman and the kanji for house. It is also used when you marry into someone's family, give someone in marriage, or receive someone in marriage. When you think about the meaning of the word again, it seems that women are treated as objects.

It is also used when a person marries into another's family.

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 I have been trying to use the word "partner" lately, but I feel frustrated and uncomfortable because it is still not very widespread and when I want to call my partner politely, there is no other appropriate way to call him/her, so I have no choice but to use "husband"[dannasan] or "wife"[okusan].

 Writing this article, I realized that there are gender-based issues lurking in our daily lives.I would like to continue to broaden my horizons by creating opportunities to share with others in the JOC and to talk with people close to me.

I would like to take actions, even small ones, so that the human rights of people all over the world will be protected and we can have a safe and equal society.

Thank you very much.

JOC Japan 　　　　Shinya Aoi